It seemed only appropriate

Good morning starlight, the Earth says hello

You twinkle above us, we twinkle below :)

Meerkat on the go

Today is sunday. About 10:30 am. I'm on a coach to Gatwick Airport after what has been - bar none - the best week of my life. Nearly two hours since I kissed the wolf goodbye. Now, after I've cried an embarassing amount of tears, the sun is starting to shine. Despite everything it's a nice day for travelling. It's heart breaking to be torn away from the arms of the person you love, but still - as I gaze upon this ever more familiar landscape - I see hope on the horizon. We survived another week together. We grew stronger, we made soup! More and more I feel that the path I chose is the right one. And when reality becomes too hard to face all I have to do is focus on the finish line. Because the truth is I don't want to go home, I only go because I have to. Because there are things that need to be finished in the motherland before I can strech my wings and claim my life as my own. Beside him. Always and every day.

A changing concept

I don't want to go home, I said. Here's the funny thing that's happening: I don't feel like I'm going home. I feel like I'm leaving it.

On love and birthdays

You know you are truly, deeply loved when your partner takes you to Stratford-Upon-Avon (Shakespeare's birthplace) on your birthday, buys you a mini poster of Kenneth Branagh playing Henry V and doesn't mind cancelling dinner reservations when you feel a bit sick as night is falling. And then when you get home he makes you tea and takes a birthday cake shaped like a TARDIS from the fridge. That's true love, I tell you. Or at least a pretty amazing birthday.

Nothing*

I feel dry. Empty. I have given all that I had and now there is nothing left. Not even for me. It seems (sadly more often than not) that my life is not my own. That in the list of priorities I come last. And I'm tired of feeling used. I'm tired of giving up my life for people who clearly don't appreciate (or even acknowledge) the effort. I am hollow when - at this point in life - I should be bursting with life, stretching my wings, starting my life in so many new and different ways. And it's sad to feel over 50 when you're just about to turn 25.

*A chorus line

Shout it out loud

There's no place like home*

I've been pushing and pushing for a long time. Outwards, outwards! A new experience with the internship, leaning a new language, dealing with banks and finances and social security stuff, moving to a different country... Change, change, change! And in the midst of all this I realize that sometimes there's nothing like coming home and spending an evening reading in bed. My old turf.

*The wizard of Oz

Who am I anyway*

I have the greatest person by my side. I do. And sometimes I still wonder why that is. My jaw drops and my mind goes blank. After all I'm just a meerkat (of course there isn't such a thing as just a meerkat, but you get my point). I believe he deserves the very best and Lord knows I don't think so high of myself. I could point out my flaws from here till Judgement Day there are so many of them. And so sometimes I think I'm not enough. But then he comes and I give him my all and between smiles and sighs and what's said and done (or not) I really do feel that I must be.

*The Chorus Line

Just because it isn't always a pink cloud...

... doesn't mean love is less amazing.

Five days to go...