Tuesday, September 01, 2009


I'm tired of mental post its. Of being told I have to do this or that. Chores and chores and chores, some of them purely recreational (why am I the one that always has to do them?). I spent a month indoors. Isn't that enough? Doesn't that allow me to snap a little? Or even a lot. I'm going insane here! I need a break. Bad. And I was suppose to get it. Tomorrow. But sharing spaces is a bitch. People sometimes are nothing but a pain in the neck.

Here's the thing that made me snap. I love going away. With me I carry little more than clothes and books. When I arrive I take off my swatch and put it away until it's time to go back again. I listen to sounds and notice smells. I read and occasionally listen to music. I nap. I talk to people, maybe even play word games and cards. No technology involved. And I love falling into our Summer routine.

My dad's the opposite. He has no routine (which messes up the natural rhythm of three other people) and worst: he insists on bringing technology around. Laptop, dvds, playstation... it's all going with us. I want to get away; he drags it all back. I want simple pleasures. He wants everyday luxuries.

For the last couple of years we had different appartments. That was nice. The rest of the family hated it. I loved it. And I cherished the door and hall that was between us as a very precious thing. We were able to go our separate ways and get together during meals. But now we're all under the same roof.

So goodbye peace. Hello to finding my dad asleep on the couch at three in the morning with the tv still on. I know I'm being too strict, bitter and self-absorbed, but so is he! I don't need him to share my holiday lifestyle, but still I don't see why I have to endure his way! There is no gray areas here: it's either his way or mine. His is gonna win; it always does. I'm outnumbered.

So there! Holidays began hours ago and I'm already in a bad mood. He has a special knack to push my buttons. Why? Cause not only it's going to be his way (again!), but he has me packing his stupid technology stuff. Cables and machines and more cables. Because I know how to install and operate them. The temptation of deliberatly leaving some rather essential cables behind is almost to great to handle. But if I gave in it would ruin everyone else's peace for the entire holidays due to his bad mood, plus he'd turn on me, so better not.

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