Wednesday, December 29, 2010

So happy together

We were walking home, hand in hand. And without stopping or slowing down he just said: We really have what it takes, don't we? I squeezed his hand and made a silly joke. We do, my love. We really do.

I love this so much

2010 - the readings

This was a very poor year, readings-wise. But here goes:

  1. Equus, Peter Schaffer ****
  2. The uncommon reader, Alan Bennett **
  3. A terceira mãe, Julieta Monginho ****
  4. Spring awakening, Franz Wedekind **
  5. The amber spyglass, Philip Pullman ***
  6. The melancholy death of Oyster Boy, Tim Burton **
  7. A ilha debaixo do mar, Isabel Allende ***
  8. Slam, Nick Hornby **
  9. A arte de morrer longe, Mário de Carvalho *
  10. The dark mirror, Juliet Marillier ****
  11. The BFG, Roald Dahl ****
  12. Blade of Fortriu, Juliet Marillier ****
  13. The witches, Roald Dahl ***
  14. Inês de Portugal, João Aguiar ***
  15. The curious incident of the dog in the night-time, Mark Haddon ****

2010 - the good

Part Two. Here we go.

The good. I finished my classes. All that's left for me to finish my masters is the internship. So no more cramming and reading tedious stuff. Ever. Big yay! The musical course was nothing short of amazing. Learned a lot, had a blast, met great people (creatures that like musicals, yay!). Did the Trinity Guildhall exam and got a Distinction on level 4. Theraphy is coming to an end (I'm all bright and shiny now!). Got a job in the book section of El Corte Inglés. Well, it was only a 27 day contract, but it still counts as fulfilling a dream! And who knows, they might offer me something more at the end of it (fingers crossed, people!). Started learning a new language. Traveled abroad on my own for the first time. But the thing that makes 2010 the best year yet is the wolf. Words aren't big enough to express how great he is and how much I love him. Thank you for being in my life. Here's to an amazing 2011 :)

Monday, December 27, 2010

News from paradise

So I've gone awol. The wolf came and the rest of the world ceased to matter. By the way, I'm very sorry for the lack of Christmas messages and the forgotten birthdays.

Right now life is practically perfect in every way. I love him so much it's not even funny. We spend the majority of our time together. We cuddle under a blanket, we watch movies, we walk around the city. Words aren't big enough to describe how happy and loved he makes me. So I'll stop now.

Anyway, I just wanted to update the world. I'm alive and I'm walking on a rainbow.

Monday, December 20, 2010

I heart mondays

The wolf is coming!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

I intend to do this so much!

2010 - the bad

I know it's a bit early for this post, but something tells me that in a near future I'll have little time to come here and write. So here it is. Part one.

The bad. It's now been months since my last dance lesson. Or acting lesson. I miss having a choreography and a deadline. I can't dance in bars or parties either. I don't remember the steps and all my swing seems to be awol. My social life is a bit down, but it's all my own doing, so I can't really complain there, can I? My masters has now come to a halt and there's nothing I can do at this point but wait. My grandmother died. From my mother's side all I have left is my uncle. My brother has been bedridden for the entire year. He's had surgery and it's not looking bright and shiny. Good times.

Too much goodness for readings

I'm packing for greatness. And for the first time in my life putting a book in my bag feels silly and unnecessary. Hihihi... nice...

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Not that I care about presents...

Kids playing in the sand

Growing up I used to dream a lot. I made plans and lists. I imagined my own house, how big it would be, how many rooms, where I would put every piece of furniture. What books I'd read to my kids at night. How I would be with a boyfriend and then a husband. What car, which holiday destinations, which everything. Despite what people might think right now, this was not an obcessive or paranoid behaviour. At least not when put into perspective. It was a means of escape, of seeing something brighter ahead, in a future when I could take action, when I was the grown up. It was a way to pass time, time that I had to spend on my own, alone.

But this is not supposed to be a pity post. What I mean to say is that a big part of me was invested in this. So now that I can see it, now that I have a special person by my side it wouldn't be fair to all those girls that I used to be (from the little one that started to dream at three years of age to the lonely teenager locked up in her room) to deny them the dream. So I let them. I let them play in the sand of our relationship and build castles as they please. Because that's all it is. Sand castles. I prefer letting them play and run free than shutting them out at the sight of hope. And in time they will grow tired of playing and will go to sleep. Happy and ready to let go of their safety blanket.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Christmas suits us

Something's got a hold on me*

I've been in love before. But what I feel for the wolf is something different. Something otherwordly. And it has been this way ever since we met. There's this something that pulled me to him. Something that made me say yes when I'd normally say no. Something that made me want to jump, trust, believe. Something that is so much bigger than my fear of the unknown. Something that comes from the dark pits of my being and reaches/pushes the boundaries of my skin. Something truly bigger than a meerkat.

*Etta James

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Kathleen Kelly in the making!

So I've been working for a little over a week now. I love it. Although I have to admit I had a very rocky start: one walks miles up and down the book section, my shoes were eating my ankles off, finding the books was a pain, I didn't get the way they were stored, the computers had way too many codes and numbers, memorising the whole process of making a sale took an embarassing amount of time and, hardest of all was being able to take care of several things at once and not piss off customers because they're not all I'm thinking about.

Right now I'm still learning but I'm finally starting to get the hang of things and managing doing most things on my own and even being able to show iniciative. And, of course, I'm living the dream. Even if only for a month, the fact is that I'm fulfilling my childhood dream of working with books. And I absolutly love it.

Dream list

1) Work in a bookshop - check!

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Welcome December

Leaving the old, buying the new

A few days ago I was chatting with a friend about moving and she was asking me how was I gonna take all my belongings with me and commenting gosh, what a huge workload it would be. Yes, I do have a lot of stuff, but I'm not taking it with me. Not all at once. Just bits and pieces of home. The mugs, some books, some magnets, my small painting of Brussels, yes, that's all going. And clothes, of course! But that's about it. First because I don't need to have all of it with me (so many new things and places to discover, what do I care about stuff!), and second because I don't want to. It's almost like a ritual; I'm shedding my own skin. I'm leaving the old me here and reaching my destination a stronger and more independent meerkat. So call me shallow, but some things I want to buy new. Like new slippers for a new home. And a new me.

Dumb luck

Some people say I'm lucky. It's true, I'm very blessed in many many ways. But what makes me a bit less than happy is the importance they give to luck. Almost like there's nothing else, and that's not the case. Sometimes almost like they think it's undeserved. I'm just lucky and it's not fair to the rest of the world. To these people I have only one thing to say: well, my friends, tough! I have had my share of pain and struggle, and I'm sure there will be plenty more of it throughout my life. That's the way it is. But what I have I deserve. I have worked and suffered for it. I'm not a martyr, but I'm also not a dumb bimbo who has it easy. I'm smart and resourceful, I work hard when I need to and I'm a nice person. I deserve all the love and good people around me. And all the luck that befalls me too.