já tinha saudades dos domingos de cinema só as duas
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Possession
Se o livro é vosso e não tem valor de antiguidade, não se deve hesitar em anotá-lo. Não deveis dar crédito àqueles que dizem que os livros são intocáveis. Os livros respeitam-se usando-os e não deixando-os quietos. Mesmo se os vendêssemos a um alfarrabista, não nos dariam mais do que alguns tostões, pelo que mais vale deixar neles os sinais da nossa posse.
Não leio livros emprestados. Porque não os posso tornar meus. Porque depois da nossa breve relação chegar ao fim tenho de os devolver. E mesmo que depois releia um exemplar já meu não é a mesma coisa. Já não há uma descoberta, um desbravar pela primeira vez. Já não tem piada.
Neste momento estou a ler o livro cuja leitura me pediste durante tanto tempo. Um livro com o teu carimbo. Tenho a dizer-te que detesto aqueles momentos (que não são poucos) em que fico com o lápis na mão, hesitante, sabendo que as páginas não são minhas para sublinhar. Nunca mais caio na tua conversa!
Umberto Eco, Como se faz uma tese em Ciências Humanas
Não leio livros emprestados. Porque não os posso tornar meus. Porque depois da nossa breve relação chegar ao fim tenho de os devolver. E mesmo que depois releia um exemplar já meu não é a mesma coisa. Já não há uma descoberta, um desbravar pela primeira vez. Já não tem piada.
Neste momento estou a ler o livro cuja leitura me pediste durante tanto tempo. Um livro com o teu carimbo. Tenho a dizer-te que detesto aqueles momentos (que não são poucos) em que fico com o lápis na mão, hesitante, sabendo que as páginas não são minhas para sublinhar. Nunca mais caio na tua conversa!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Little angels and demons yapping on my shoulder
Há uma Joana pequenina que se recusa a dizer não. É uma criança teimosa e casmurra que tenta obter o que quer nem que para isso seja preciso todo o tipo de curvas e contracurvas. Mas então e se fosse assim? ou então assado? Sempre sem se calar até ver a vontade satisfeita.
Há uma Joana grande de óculos encaixados na cana do nariz e com uma noção matemática e prudente na realidade. Não, isso já é demais. Não pode ser. Desiste de uma e mantem as outras. Uma estratega sem medo de sacrificar peões.
E depois há a Joana. Eu dividida e soterrada pelas vozes das outras duas.
Neste caso o tema é o teatro. Desistir de um curso que implica muitos (demasiados) sacrifícios. Que traz tanta felicidade e crescimento mas também exige muito esforço e dedicação. Exige tempo e energia num período em que ambos escaceiam. No semestre de Tradutologia. Numa altura em que o meu irmão vai ser operado duas vezes num hospital que nem sequer fica em Lisboa. Um curso com o espectáculo final agendado para o mesmo dia do da Escola de Musicais. Eu sei o que tenho a fazer. Mas depois olho para as pessoas e relembro o que são os cursos de teatro e não consigo dizer não...
Há uma Joana grande de óculos encaixados na cana do nariz e com uma noção matemática e prudente na realidade. Não, isso já é demais. Não pode ser. Desiste de uma e mantem as outras. Uma estratega sem medo de sacrificar peões.
E depois há a Joana. Eu dividida e soterrada pelas vozes das outras duas.
Neste caso o tema é o teatro. Desistir de um curso que implica muitos (demasiados) sacrifícios. Que traz tanta felicidade e crescimento mas também exige muito esforço e dedicação. Exige tempo e energia num período em que ambos escaceiam. No semestre de Tradutologia. Numa altura em que o meu irmão vai ser operado duas vezes num hospital que nem sequer fica em Lisboa. Um curso com o espectáculo final agendado para o mesmo dia do da Escola de Musicais. Eu sei o que tenho a fazer. Mas depois olho para as pessoas e relembro o que são os cursos de teatro e não consigo dizer não...
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I try to be my best*
- Thank you.
- For what?
- For reminding me I'm not special.**
So here's the down side of being in a clan. You have to fight your hardest to keep up. It's not just a matter of staying afloat. It's the struggle to not being labelled as a sheep. One of many. Because here we're all a herd of special people. Loads of them come from acting schools, others have been dancing for over ten years, others master their voices at will. And then you think what the hell am I doing here? I do all of these thing but I don't excel at any of them. It's freaking panic-ville.
Of course, it also makes this a much more interesting game. You have to keep your head in the game and never lose your cool (God, I'm speaking HSM... Lord, strike me now!). To one with such low self-esteem it's quite a challenge. Although I keep hearing the words advanced class, so I must be doing something right to be here. Hope and perseverance people - that's all it takes right now...
- For what?
- For reminding me I'm not special.**
So here's the down side of being in a clan. You have to fight your hardest to keep up. It's not just a matter of staying afloat. It's the struggle to not being labelled as a sheep. One of many. Because here we're all a herd of special people. Loads of them come from acting schools, others have been dancing for over ten years, others master their voices at will. And then you think what the hell am I doing here? I do all of these thing but I don't excel at any of them. It's freaking panic-ville.
Of course, it also makes this a much more interesting game. You have to keep your head in the game and never lose your cool (God, I'm speaking HSM... Lord, strike me now!). To one with such low self-esteem it's quite a challenge. Although I keep hearing the words advanced class, so I must be doing something right to be here. Hope and perseverance people - that's all it takes right now...
*Dollhouse
**Nine
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Clan
Every saturday I keep feeling like Marty when he found all the zebras. It's still stunning to acknowledge that there is such a crowd, let alone that I am one of them. We talk Chicago, we talk Nine, Hairspray, Mary Poppins and Sweeney Todd. It's amazing! I simply can't find the words to describe it...
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The blood stranger
- ... mas tu agora andas no teatro?
- Sim.
- A tua mãe também andava.
-???
Por vezes espanta-me o quanto eu desconheço a minha mãe. Mais ainda: a minha estranha falta de curiosidade.
- Sim.
- A tua mãe também andava.
-???
Por vezes espanta-me o quanto eu desconheço a minha mãe. Mais ainda: a minha estranha falta de curiosidade.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Literary pride
Já há algum tempo que sabia haver uma cópia do Animal Farm (O Triunfo dos Porcos) em português aqui em casa. Hoje peguei-lhe só para ler um dos mandamentos e ao passar pelas folhas encontrei algumas notas nas margens com a letra do meu pai. Subitamente estou cheia de orgulho. Uma coisa é saber que o livro já foi lido e até amplamente apreciado, mas anotações? Estou deveras impressionada...
But I can't do it alone*
Funny things happen when you decide to live outside the coccoon. You let people in and then suddenly you're not same. You can't function as you did before.
I used to go to the movies all the time. Alone. All sorts of movies. Just me and my beverage. And I loved it. People are loud, some like to talk during the movie, all of them chat after it's over. I hated it. When I went to the movies I was a sponge - ready to absorb all I could and I tried keep the illusion for as long as possible (which is a hard thing to do if you're with people). And now I can't do it alone. It's her fault. I was Paris before she came along and I felt just fine. Now I need a sort of Gilmore movie partner. Damn!
I used to go to the movies all the time. Alone. All sorts of movies. Just me and my beverage. And I loved it. People are loud, some like to talk during the movie, all of them chat after it's over. I hated it. When I went to the movies I was a sponge - ready to absorb all I could and I tried keep the illusion for as long as possible (which is a hard thing to do if you're with people). And now I can't do it alone. It's her fault. I was Paris before she came along and I felt just fine. Now I need a sort of Gilmore movie partner. Damn!
*I can't do it alone, Chicago
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Cinco
Ok, respondendo ao desafio que me foi lançado e contrariando o meu ódio de estimação por coisas em corrente, cá seguem as «5 manias, hábitos muito pessoais que me diferenciam do comum dos mortais»:
- Sou ocasionalmente viciada no Movie Maker. Não que tenha feito muitas produções, mas para as que fiz esmifrei-me para além do possível imaginário. Passei muitas noites debruçada sobre pormenores nos quais ninguém repara. As cores, o tipo de letra, os centésimos de segundo... Completamente OCD... há testemunhas... infelizmente...
- Adoro canela na sopa.
- Todas as noites antes de me deitar faço uma lista de tudo o que tenho de pôr na mala no dia seguinte. Eis um hábito extremamente útil, especialmente quando se tem o dom do esquecimento.
- Sou o tipo de pessoa capaz de andar no metro a ouvir o St. Crispin's Day Speech (Henry V, Shakespeare) no meu mp3.
- Demoro cerca de uma hora a acordar por completo. Alguém com vontade de psicoanalisar esta minha faceta, por favor levante o braço.
De acordo com as regras era suposto eu desafiar outras cinco pessoas. Mas não. A minha parte está feita e eu fico-me por aqui.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Come Spring
O meu irmão já não sorri. Há meses que tento sem sucesso ouvir aquele riso dobrado que sempre lhe foi característico. Agora chora. Range os dentes, morde a mão e bate na cabeça para esquecer a outra dor. Aquela que não podemos aliviar. Quando nos vê agarra-se com sofreguidão como se lha pudessemos retirar como a um penso. E está magro. Trinta quilos. Dá para tocar piano nas suas pequenas costelas. Os ossos furam a pele como varetas de uma tenda mal montada.
Só quero que chegue o final de Fevereiro. Mas tenho medo do que vem depois. Do pós-operatório. Da segunda operação apenas três semanas após a primeira. De o ver aguentar aquilo com uns meros trinta quilos de corpo. De o ver entubado, com a mão amarrada para não mexer nos fios, os olhos desesperados a olhar para nós a perguntar porquê? Porque ele é apenas uma criança que não sabe falar. Não pode pedir para o mudarmos de posição, para lhe darmos água, para lhe coçarmos o nariz. Não vale de nada dizermos-lhe Vai ficar tudo bem.
Quero a Primavera. Com as operações passadas, sem gesso nem tubos. E o meu irmão com a perna como nova. A sorrir para mim. Como sempre foi.
Só quero que chegue o final de Fevereiro. Mas tenho medo do que vem depois. Do pós-operatório. Da segunda operação apenas três semanas após a primeira. De o ver aguentar aquilo com uns meros trinta quilos de corpo. De o ver entubado, com a mão amarrada para não mexer nos fios, os olhos desesperados a olhar para nós a perguntar porquê? Porque ele é apenas uma criança que não sabe falar. Não pode pedir para o mudarmos de posição, para lhe darmos água, para lhe coçarmos o nariz. Não vale de nada dizermos-lhe Vai ficar tudo bem.
Quero a Primavera. Com as operações passadas, sem gesso nem tubos. E o meu irmão com a perna como nova. A sorrir para mim. Como sempre foi.
K.O
I feel so discouraged today. I've had a lousy, dreadful night so far. Linguistics class was a total bloodbath. Ten people had their oral presentations tonight and all of them were ruthlessly taken down. She was a freaking Aquiles, dragging Hector around for all to see. Ten times over. I've forgotten how some people in that department are so obsessed about terminology. You have to say it all like you're one of them. Which of course you're not (but go see if they care!). It doesn't matter if you get the point and try to demonstrate and express it your way. It's simply their way or the highway.
So after such shameless treatment I now have to re-do my work. Do it her way. With columns. And trees. And compare bits of a novel in both languages. And research some more.
Well I'm too hurt for that now! I need mending! Yes, I'm a child and I'm not afraid to admit it! I need chocolate milk and some pampering! So I'll take the weekend off. Saturdays I can't work anyway and sunday will be relaxing day. Opening my mind to the dreadful task ahead.
And then I'll manage it better next week. I promise I won't procrastinate as much as I want to at this precise moment...
God I hate that woman right now...
So after such shameless treatment I now have to re-do my work. Do it her way. With columns. And trees. And compare bits of a novel in both languages. And research some more.
Well I'm too hurt for that now! I need mending! Yes, I'm a child and I'm not afraid to admit it! I need chocolate milk and some pampering! So I'll take the weekend off. Saturdays I can't work anyway and sunday will be relaxing day. Opening my mind to the dreadful task ahead.
And then I'll manage it better next week. I promise I won't procrastinate as much as I want to at this precise moment...
God I hate that woman right now...
The extra mile
Right now there's a lot of free newspapers circulating in Lisbon. That, my friends, means competition. I guess what Metro considered going that extra mile was putting a huge sign at the back of the delivery person and having her trotting up and down the street with an enormous cartoon balloon over her head saying Good Morning. Some job...
Thursday, January 14, 2010
A wooden leg named Smith
I love Mary Poppins. I've lost track of how many times I've watched it. And yet I keep giggling in the Uncle Albert scene. I guess it really is countagious. Plus I kinda have a soft spot for David Tomlinson and Dick Van Dyke. No disregard meant, Julie Andrews. You're a given diva and will forever have a special place in my heart. Not to say the whole Hepburn-Oscar thing just makes me smile viciously and go Ah-ha!... (I love you Audrey, but) take that casting people!!!...
Anyway, the point is... I love reruns. Surprised? I guess not. When I like something I get totally obsessed about it. My family doesn't get me. At all. They believe that once you've seen it, you've seen and there's no point in going back to it. As if it's a matter of wasting time. It's a very robot-like point of view - the idea that time should only be invested on new data. I sorta respect that. Part of the thrill is gone, lost forever. Still, I love going back :)
People often look at me and ask why? And then I stare back and answer why not? I mean, isn't the purpose of free time to do something that makes you feel good? But I won't dwell on it. Instead, I'll just keep humming Let's go fly a kite while in class :)
Anyway, the point is... I love reruns. Surprised? I guess not. When I like something I get totally obsessed about it. My family doesn't get me. At all. They believe that once you've seen it, you've seen and there's no point in going back to it. As if it's a matter of wasting time. It's a very robot-like point of view - the idea that time should only be invested on new data. I sorta respect that. Part of the thrill is gone, lost forever. Still, I love going back :)
People often look at me and ask why? And then I stare back and answer why not? I mean, isn't the purpose of free time to do something that makes you feel good? But I won't dwell on it. Instead, I'll just keep humming Let's go fly a kite while in class :)
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
New directions
No passado ano descobri o teatro. De várias formas.
Em papel com Miss Julie, A Doll's House, Woyzeck, Hedda Gabler, Leonce and Lena e D. Juan.
Como membro do público em As Vampiras Lésbicas de Sodoma, A Bíblia - Toda a palavra de Deus de uma assentada, Hedda Gabler, A Arte do Crime e As Obras Completas de William Shakespeare em 97 Minutos.
E três vezes debaixo dos holofotes como pseudo-actriz. Uma delas na Culturgest (que mete respeito...).
É um mundo novo. E espero ansiosamente pelas descobertas de 2010.
Em papel com Miss Julie, A Doll's House, Woyzeck, Hedda Gabler, Leonce and Lena e D. Juan.
Como membro do público em As Vampiras Lésbicas de Sodoma, A Bíblia - Toda a palavra de Deus de uma assentada, Hedda Gabler, A Arte do Crime e As Obras Completas de William Shakespeare em 97 Minutos.
E três vezes debaixo dos holofotes como pseudo-actriz. Uma delas na Culturgest (que mete respeito...).
É um mundo novo. E espero ansiosamente pelas descobertas de 2010.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
A place to eat, to study, to pat cats...
Today I decided to have lunch in the cafeteria (what can I say, I missed college food...). At some point I was studying electromagnetism when suddenly I felt something passing by and touching my legs. It was a cat. Might I add that in order to enter the cafeteria you have to pass the building doors, go up some stairs and then open another door. That there are pidgeons in the tent outside is understandable (though still extremely gross), but a cat in the cafeteria??? Don't get me wrong, I love cats. But what kind of joint are they running here?
Monday, January 11, 2010
De-greenifying*
I'm not the little girl who used to curl up and cry to the sound of Streisand and Dion or who used to hide behing The Mists of Avalon. And sometimes it still amazes me that I've grown out of that.
*Wicked, The wizard and I
Baby leaps
People think I'm not much of an adventure girl, the leaping kind. That's what I said. He looked puzzled and said no. That that wasn't what he saw. I'm scared*. Deeply. That's no mystery. Yet I leap my way. I was scared** of so many things and somehow gathered the courage to keep going. Countless times I was on the brink of bailing yet I stayed and faced the storm. I conquered the stage, even if I'm still a little frightened of it. Little by little. Baby leaps. But leaps nonetheless. And that counts. Especially if you consider the baggage. I'm not a quitter. I'm just doing it my way.
*from scar, wound
** from scare, fright
I love boring
I hate beginnings. The excitement of having to read between the lines and the not being sure... it makes me sick. I feel ackward. Not knowing what I can or can't make fun of, what to say, how to behave (and don't say Just be yourself cause there's no such thing!), whether that person's gonna find the bubbles and the mugs cute or just think I'm plain childish. I don't respond well to beginnings.
I like the middle. The boring stuff. Knowing what people are alergic to or what they eat for breakfast. It makes me feel safe. To have private jokes and use all sorts of references while speaking and be understood. To be confortable enough to forget my arm resting on someone's shoulder. Or to hug them. It takes time. Lord, it takes time! I blame it all on childhood experiences. So I like solid ground. Never was much of a leaper.
I like the middle. The boring stuff. Knowing what people are alergic to or what they eat for breakfast. It makes me feel safe. To have private jokes and use all sorts of references while speaking and be understood. To be confortable enough to forget my arm resting on someone's shoulder. Or to hug them. It takes time. Lord, it takes time! I blame it all on childhood experiences. So I like solid ground. Never was much of a leaper.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Saturday, January 09, 2010
School report
Primeiro dia da Escola de Musicais. Uma palavra: intenso. Mesmo. E digamos que o piqueno pormenor de ter de fazer as aulas de meias em chão de madeira exaustivamente polida (ou seja, absurdamente escorregadia) não ajuda. Não me vou por com descrições emocionantes do que se passou. Estou demasiado exausta para tal esforço. Apenas queria registar quatro pensamentos soltos:
É melhor esquecer a ideia peregrina de fazer alguma coisa de trabalho (e provavelmente de lazer) aos sábados. E hoje foi um dia soft de introdução...
Os meus dois aninhos nos KEPs não me vão servir de muito. De praticamente nada. Sinto-me minúscula perto das pessoas de comtemporâneo e ballet. Mas raios se não hei-de fazer o mesmo! Está tudo aqui. À espera de ser usado, ginasticado e dominado.
Amanhã nem me vou mexer. As minhas pernas e articulações vão redefinir o seu conceito de dores musculares...
Estou muito, mas muito feliz...
É melhor esquecer a ideia peregrina de fazer alguma coisa de trabalho (e provavelmente de lazer) aos sábados. E hoje foi um dia soft de introdução...
Os meus dois aninhos nos KEPs não me vão servir de muito. De praticamente nada. Sinto-me minúscula perto das pessoas de comtemporâneo e ballet. Mas raios se não hei-de fazer o mesmo! Está tudo aqui. À espera de ser usado, ginasticado e dominado.
Amanhã nem me vou mexer. As minhas pernas e articulações vão redefinir o seu conceito de dores musculares...
Estou muito, mas muito feliz...
Friday, January 08, 2010
I ain't gonna face no defeat*
I have the will power of a cat. It's sad, but there you go. Anyhow, surprisingly enough this is not a mea-culpa kinda post. I just wanna say that I'm gonna give it another go. Being the beginning of a new year and with the start of so many new things in my life, who knows...
So I'm picturing Lea Michele performing Somebody to love on Glee (ep. 5). Why? Because I'm three years-old... or Cathy, whichever's less embarassing! I'll keep that image fresh in my brain and say to myself That's your goal! To sing and dance and look good in that outfit. Yes, I just said this. Call me shallow all you like. I need to do this. I need to have it all. For me. Because I know I can pull it off if I just put my mind to it. So get set...
So I'm picturing Lea Michele performing Somebody to love on Glee (ep. 5). Why? Because I'm three years-old... or Cathy, whichever's less embarassing! I'll keep that image fresh in my brain and say to myself That's your goal! To sing and dance and look good in that outfit. Yes, I just said this. Call me shallow all you like. I need to do this. I need to have it all. For me. Because I know I can pull it off if I just put my mind to it. So get set...
*Somebody to love, Queen
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Cute and quirky
I have quirks. Many, many, many quirks. And I love them. I have a thing for traditions and roots and stuff. I like to believe I have an adorable blend of predictability and what-the-hell moments (the good kind, the dead-poet-society-seize-the-day kind... before teen suicide, I mean).
I like mugs. My shrink asked me about it. I don't know why. I just do. Mugs are cozy. Mugs can hold all sorts of heart-warming beverages. Your go-get-'em-tiger breakfast milk, your very zen and balanced tea, your celebration cappuccino, your pat-in-the-back hot cocoa, your sunday coffee. What's not love about mugs??? Mugs are dermatology!
I'm the sort of person who could call their dog Paul Anka just for reference sake.
I get influenced so easily you wouldn't believe. As a matter of fact, this is post is only happening because I'm on a Gilmore Girls rush. Hence the wordyness. Once I went through this phase when I went to the movies a lot and everytime I got out speaking whatever language the movie was in and that state lasted for the rest of whole said day. The day I went to see Goodbye Lenin I barely spoke afterwards, my German was so bad! Oh and don't get me started on the LOTR obsession. Dear Lord, was that embarassing...
I call roundabouts cookies. It's a family thing that I've instantly adopted. To go around the cookie. Us, family women at the wheel... funny!
Bouquets of sharped pencils...
I'm Sheldon Cooper about a great number of things. My seat in the living room. The order of my morning routine. At some point, my seat at the movies. How I sometimes ask whether a meal was heated in the oven or the microwave so as to know if I should start eating from the outside-in or the inside-out (it's a thermodynamics thing). Many would argue this is not cute-though-slightly-annoying-Sheldon-behaviour, it's just OCD. Oh well...
I have no idea what else to say. The Lorelainess is wearing off. I'm going to bed now.
I like mugs. My shrink asked me about it. I don't know why. I just do. Mugs are cozy. Mugs can hold all sorts of heart-warming beverages. Your go-get-'em-tiger breakfast milk, your very zen and balanced tea, your celebration cappuccino, your pat-in-the-back hot cocoa, your sunday coffee. What's not love about mugs??? Mugs are dermatology!
I'm the sort of person who could call their dog Paul Anka just for reference sake.
I get influenced so easily you wouldn't believe. As a matter of fact, this is post is only happening because I'm on a Gilmore Girls rush. Hence the wordyness. Once I went through this phase when I went to the movies a lot and everytime I got out speaking whatever language the movie was in and that state lasted for the rest of whole said day. The day I went to see Goodbye Lenin I barely spoke afterwards, my German was so bad! Oh and don't get me started on the LOTR obsession. Dear Lord, was that embarassing...
I call roundabouts cookies. It's a family thing that I've instantly adopted. To go around the cookie. Us, family women at the wheel... funny!
Bouquets of sharped pencils...
I'm Sheldon Cooper about a great number of things. My seat in the living room. The order of my morning routine. At some point, my seat at the movies. How I sometimes ask whether a meal was heated in the oven or the microwave so as to know if I should start eating from the outside-in or the inside-out (it's a thermodynamics thing). Many would argue this is not cute-though-slightly-annoying-Sheldon-behaviour, it's just OCD. Oh well...
I have no idea what else to say. The Lorelainess is wearing off. I'm going to bed now.
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
The brain on strike
There's only so much you I can bully my brain into absorbing information. I've now reached the limit. It's full to its maximum capacity and won't take anything else. It somehow resembles an attic packed with cardboard boxes - filled somewhat randomly - and piled one on top of the other all the way up to the ceiling and about to fall down.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
The new year's eve drama
I'm a major what if thinker. And lately I've been thinking about last New Year's Eve. You see, I was supposed to go to a friend's house for dinner and then get on my car and drive to this huge party with loads and loads of people and party till the cows come home. But I never made it to the second party.
I promised I'd go (in fact, I was first invited to that one), but one thing led to another: dinner was running late, I was tired and sleep-deprived, I'm mighty scared of driving on New Year's Eve, it was raining cats and dogs, my eyes were still re-adjusting themselves from their first 3D movie, it was a considerably long drive... and at some point it got too late for me to get there before midnight and right after midnight someone turned on Buzz and before I knew it I was beating everyone's ass and they wouldn't let me leave. And I kept winning and time just flew by!
And I'm a bit sorry I didn't also go to the other one. Which is incredibly stupid. I had a great time with my friends that night - I should be happy! Period! But I never was much of a settler. And sometimes I start to wonder what if I'd gone to the other one. I'm sure it was a blast, but then so was mine. In the immortal words of Queen:
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all
And I want it now!
I now have no idea where I'm going with this. When I started this was supposed to be a happy post. A post on how I'm so glad I have so much I even get all drama queen about it! On how lucky I am that I got parties to choose from. And that they were both awesome even though I only attended one of them. The fact that I didn't leave that first one was because I was having so much fun I kept delaying my departure, so... it's all good! Somehow all the whining and the potential regret I might feel is a sign that I should feel happy and blessed. And that this gonna be a great year...
I promised I'd go (in fact, I was first invited to that one), but one thing led to another: dinner was running late, I was tired and sleep-deprived, I'm mighty scared of driving on New Year's Eve, it was raining cats and dogs, my eyes were still re-adjusting themselves from their first 3D movie, it was a considerably long drive... and at some point it got too late for me to get there before midnight and right after midnight someone turned on Buzz and before I knew it I was beating everyone's ass and they wouldn't let me leave. And I kept winning and time just flew by!
And I'm a bit sorry I didn't also go to the other one. Which is incredibly stupid. I had a great time with my friends that night - I should be happy! Period! But I never was much of a settler. And sometimes I start to wonder what if I'd gone to the other one. I'm sure it was a blast, but then so was mine. In the immortal words of Queen:
I want it all, I want it all, I want it all
And I want it now!
I now have no idea where I'm going with this. When I started this was supposed to be a happy post. A post on how I'm so glad I have so much I even get all drama queen about it! On how lucky I am that I got parties to choose from. And that they were both awesome even though I only attended one of them. The fact that I didn't leave that first one was because I was having so much fun I kept delaying my departure, so... it's all good! Somehow all the whining and the potential regret I might feel is a sign that I should feel happy and blessed. And that this gonna be a great year...
Monday, January 04, 2010
All you need is love
(This is a very, very corny title for a post, but there we go...)
While I was taking a break from all those German translation theories I caught something on tv. A woman that had a handicaped son and felt like her world had just colapsed. Like it was all over and nothing could fix it and things would never be alright again. Her son was broken and there was no repair. And the way this was filmed (it was fiction... I'm not telling what exactly because then I'd have to put on a spoiler alert and I don't want to, so deal with it as it is) just made me mad.
Yes, people are entitled to react differently when hit by tragedy. But - being fiction - I just hated the way it was portrayed. I have a handicaped brother and it's not the end of the world. Of course a lot of times the whole situation stinks... believe me! It's a pain having someone depending on you to be fed or to have a clean dry diaper. There's no fun in canceling dinner with your friends so you can stay home and babysit. Or getting up on a sunday morning to take care of someone else's basic needs. Not that I have to do it everyday (hey, lets be honest!)...
I'm drifting... What I mean to say is: at the end of the day that disabled child that changed your whole world is still your kid. They know your voice, they smile at you, throw tantrums and have their own way of doing things. And sometimes they learn to do something new. It doesn't really matter what they can or can't do, whether they'll ever walk or be able to use a spoon - so what if they never go to college or drive a car? they can still be happy. And that laugh beats everything. Because you know that that child has everything it needs. That despite all that he is missing he can still look you in the eye and you just know that he's happy. And that's everything.
While I was taking a break from all those German translation theories I caught something on tv. A woman that had a handicaped son and felt like her world had just colapsed. Like it was all over and nothing could fix it and things would never be alright again. Her son was broken and there was no repair. And the way this was filmed (it was fiction... I'm not telling what exactly because then I'd have to put on a spoiler alert and I don't want to, so deal with it as it is) just made me mad.
Yes, people are entitled to react differently when hit by tragedy. But - being fiction - I just hated the way it was portrayed. I have a handicaped brother and it's not the end of the world. Of course a lot of times the whole situation stinks... believe me! It's a pain having someone depending on you to be fed or to have a clean dry diaper. There's no fun in canceling dinner with your friends so you can stay home and babysit. Or getting up on a sunday morning to take care of someone else's basic needs. Not that I have to do it everyday (hey, lets be honest!)...
I'm drifting... What I mean to say is: at the end of the day that disabled child that changed your whole world is still your kid. They know your voice, they smile at you, throw tantrums and have their own way of doing things. And sometimes they learn to do something new. It doesn't really matter what they can or can't do, whether they'll ever walk or be able to use a spoon - so what if they never go to college or drive a car? they can still be happy. And that laugh beats everything. Because you know that that child has everything it needs. That despite all that he is missing he can still look you in the eye and you just know that he's happy. And that's everything.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Hidding in my bunker
Dez dias. Em estado de sítio por dez dias. Uma meta de cada vez. Um teste na quarta. Uma apresentação na sexta. Escola de Musicais no sábado. Último teste na terça. E depois pausa. Portanto até lá há que dosear a energia. Maximizar o tempo. Não desesperar. Beber muito chá. Enterrar o comando da televisão. Os procedimentos normais.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
'ong ulte tswayon*
Avatar é o tipo de filme que faz bem. Que deixa uma vontade formigante de me reciclar. De sair por aí e explorar todos os músculos que tenho. Explorar o espaço. Correr. Trepar. Descobrir. De me desentoxicar. Respirar. Perder medos. Arriscar. De fazer o mesmo por dentro. Encontrar uma paz e simplicidade difícil de coadunar com a vida citadina. De renascer.
Que excelente início de ano...
*fly and blossom (na'vi)
Friday, January 01, 2010
I am the Buzz master
Nas primeiras horas de 2010 alguém resolveu ligar o Buzz e dar-me um comando para a mão. O que foi um erro. O primeiro jogo foi para aquecer, mas apartir do segundo o primeiro lugar pertencia sempre à piquena de um metro e cinquenta e quatro. Foi preciso os outros três jogadores unirem forças para arrastar o meu Napoleãozinho para segundo. Isto, meus amigos, é muito jogo de cintura ;)
365
Ok, é oficial: depois de muitas experiências em projectos mais piquenos, eis senão que o próximo projecto fotográfico se estende pelo ano inteiro. Tal como tinha sido originalmente pensado. Por outras pessoas, eu só estou a usar a fórmula ;)
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