So I've been at my lowest these last couple of days. And by that I mean nearly dehydrating from all the crying, Rudolph shiny red and swollen nose and all the works. I've been low and lower, I've been torn, messy, histerical, weepy and the like. I thought and cried and thought and cried and could come to no conclusion whatsoever. Then I got a slap in the face. And now I'm beginning to breathe again. Baby steps, always forward.