Thursday, November 17, 2011

The life you left behind

When you move to a foreign country, life in your native country goes on. This might sound very obvious (and it is!), but sometimes it still catches you by surprise. The jokes and comments people make start making less and less sense. Because you don't know what's on the news anymore or how the weather is. People talk about all sorts of tv shows you no longer know about. Your friends keep having dinner parties and all you can do is see the pictures they post online. And that's normal, that's what's supposed to happen. But it's still hard to take, especially when your life is still taking off where you are now living. Until you have a proper job, have new friends of your own and learn how to navigate through the new spaces and customs you won't feel like you're truly home. And so sometimes you will look back and feel a bit jealous of what you left behind. Because now you're neither here nor there. You no longer understand your fellow natives at home but you don't feel like a native where you are either. You're a foreigner wherever you are. And so sometimes you wish you were back home. You wish you could go to dinner with your friends (because you miss them and because you crave the company, since you don't have many friends here yet), you wish you could adjust to the Winter here as you did back home (but you can't because this place is still new and your body needs time) and you wish you had the little things you can't find in your new home (like the good old bread from Alentejo, or the smell of roasted chestnuts being sold on the street).

I love my new home. The people are all lovely and nice and overall this country suits me. Plus I have the love of my life by my side every day, which certainly makes things a lot easier and much more pleasant! But still I've gotten to the point where I can't wait to be back home again. To breathe the same air, to know instintively where to go for what without having to stop and think or look at some sign or board. To be with the people I love. And most of all, to finish the MA so that I can come back here, to my new home, and start living my life for good!

1 comment:

Tati said...

I miss you too pá!