Sunday, May 29, 2011

How do you leave the past behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart?*

This is probably a good idea-bad idea post. Meaning that it makes total sense today and tomorrow I'll probably regret having pressed publish.

I am very proud of the choices I've made this past year. It has taken a lot of sacrifice and a lot of hard work to get to this point. But right now that means zero. I'm hungry for the stage. For dancing and singing and having classes together with old mates. I miss it and I feel there's this massive gap in my heart that cannot be otherwise fulfilled.

It's incredible to see friends accomplish so much on stage. To conquer an entire musical. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that part of me squirms with envy.

I'm not that much of a child to say O alas! That door has closed! O poor me! I know that somewhere along the (hopefully very long) road that is my life new opportunities will present themselves. But right now it pains me so very much that I can't have that. And there's nothing for me to do but carry on and hope for the best.

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