Friday, March 30, 2012

The everlasting quest

Someone once said that we are not nouns, we are verbs. Always in constant movement. Another someone also said that happiness is a state of mind. It's not a period of time (however short or long)  where the constants in our lives are aligned in a certain way that makes us happy; being happy at work, with your relationship, with your social life, with your family life, etc, etc, is not just a coincidence - to a greater degree than what most of us realize it's more of a choice than anything else.  But it's also not that simple. In most cases it's not enough to say I think I'm happy, therefore I'm happy (though sometimes it really is a matter of perpective, of trying to see the glass half-full). It takes action. Embracing that we are verbs and not nouns. Happiness is a choice and a quest. It's saying I want to be happy, then analyzing what can be done to improve every aspect of your life, and then it's acting on it. Dreams do come true, but not just because we wish them to; there's always a certain amount of effort that must come from our part.

I have dreams. And because most of those dreams are simple and... halfway done, I fooled myself into thinking I could just sit back and relax and let things run their natural course, since everything was already heading in the right direction. I had already moved to a foreign country, I had an amazing relationship with a great man, I was on my way to being independent and finding a dream-job. I thought if I let it all on autopilot soon the path to the dream-job would reveal itself, the relationship would naturally progress to a home, marriage, family, the whole suburban dream. But that's not the way it works. You can take a break (and Lord knows I needed one at the time), but if you take too long to get back to it, all that you've conquered starts to rust and fall apart. Life is not like riding a bicycle. If you don't practice, if you don't put in some work, you'll forget and things will start to crumble. And that's what happened. I got comfortable. And now that I've opened my eyes and taken a good look at what a mess I've made of things I'm determined to change. To do the work and get it right this time.

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